Is our ability to communicate becoming atrophied, as our lives become more attached on line?

According to Edward M. Hallowell in the Jan/Feb issue of Harvard Business Review, "The Human moment at work", there is a good possibility that we are.

As author of Power of Positive Linking!, my focus has always been on face to face communication. As I listen to clients and others in my seminars and workshops tell me that their days are increasingly spent in front of and communicating by a computer keyboard and screen instead of in front of and face to face with other people, my concern grows.

It becomes so easy to withdraw from the world and we need the high touch of human interaction to function at the highest level.

Studies that go back to the forties have shown that babies that were given basic care but never held or talked to simply withered and died. More recent studies on aging state that those who regularly attend meeting and connect with others tend to live longer with fewer health problems.

Don't get me wrong. I love my computer, my e-mail, being able to go to the bank at 10:30 pm. To be able to connect immediately with friends in South Africa and Saskatchewan when I think of something they might want or need to know is an ability I don't want to let go. No way could I function any more without the ways that being attached in cyberspace enable me to do.

To be able to connect with friends, clients and family from wherever I happen to be is important; however, equally important is the opportunity to share a smile, a hug, or watch another's face when they get a breakthrough or an idea.

Edward M. Hallowell HBR J99 states "e-mail and voice mail are efficient but face to face contact is still essential to true communication". Hallowell talks about "human moments" – anothers physical presence and their emotional and intellectual attention.

Is all your communication these days by email or voice mail? As we move faster and faster into the future, this is so often the case. As might also happen, with ambiguous email wrong meanings are attached to messages so toxic worry or emotional stress begin to build and soon explode.

In my workshop "Here be Dragons – Surviving Organizational Insanity", I lead participants through eleven coping skills. Number 10 is laugh. Statistics show that laughter causes endorphins to explode within our system and shared laughter can multiply those endorphins even more. While I can chortle happily at a joke received by email, when happy moments are shared face to face on an emotional basis the effects are even greater. Face to face also stimulates two important neurotransmitters, dopamine, which enhances pleasure and sertonin to reduce worry.

The energy that happens when two or more people connect, physically, emotionally & intellectually grows with each interaction. I can think of various functions where the energy in the room has grown as the event progresses and by the end of the evening you can feel the force field of energy reverberating in the room. That energy we don't want to lose. As a home based business owner, I know that if three days go by without physically connecting with others, my ability to concentrate and be effective on the fourth day is seriously depleted.

Recent studies at Carnagie Mellon University of people who spend even a few hours connected on line show higher levels of depression and loneliness. These studies again show that yes, we need our electronic world, but don't make it your only world.

So ensure that your ability to communicate on a face to face basis doesn't become atrophied. Keep those connections open, keep those circles moving outward. Meet with a coworker for lunch, invite a business colleague to brainstorm over tea, visit that friend you haven't seen for months. Be sure to balance your hi tech with your hi touch.

©1999 by Pat Nichol. All rights reserved.

Pat Nichol is an author/speaker who is doing her best to balance her life. She is a charter member of the WBN and a leader in the field of connecting and relationship building since the '80s. Pat is an example of a speaker who loves what she does. Pat Nichol is a charter member of the WBN and a leader in the field of connecting and relationship building since the '80s. Pat is an example of a speaker who loves what she does. Visit her web site at www.patnichol.com or contact her at (250) 474-4606 or patnichol@patnichol.com