Sue (I'll call her that, but that's not her real name) is a coach who had been reasonably successful in building a client base, but was concerned that her progress was too slow. A colleague advised her to ramp up to get the latest office equipment, stationery, brochures, etc. So she did, went substantially in the hole doing it, and ended up being strapped, stressed and fearful.

Tom (that is his real name) tells a similar story. In his early days in the speaking business, he wanted to emulate a man who was tremendously successful as a motivational speaker. He listened to his tapes on how to build a speaking business and went out on a limb to the tune of $40,000. He confided in me that it was the worst mistake he ever made; it took him seven years to pay off the loan he took out on his house to finance the venture. He managed to get on top, however, and at last report, had an annual income well into six figures.

What's the lesson here? There's no doubt about it. Modeling and mentoring can be very helpful in jump starting one's career, not just in coaching or speaking, but in almost any field. That's why so many successful leaders can be found reading biographies and clipping success stories.

I must confess I'm somewhat of a maverick in this area. Yes, I can think of four or five people in my life who have been fountains of wisdom and who undoubtedly have helped me in many ways. And I've met others who have modeled their careers after a personal hero with great success. But, I've never met a single person with whom I would change places, or who's methods and approaches I could accept completely. Always, there was a little voice that whispered, yes, but that's not for me. It took me a while to figure out what was going on and so, to be able to share Sue and Tom's dilemma. Here's where I've come to rest. (I'll put it in numbered points, simply for clarity)

1. Each and everyone of us must walk our own unique path. While you and I may be in the same business, in the same town, even dealing with the same clients or customers, what we each do -- if it is to be really useful to the purchaser -- has to have the stamp of our own uniqueness. In coaching terms, what we do must be based on our experience base rather than our acquired coaching skills. It is experience that makes the difference.

2. When you're modeling someone else's style, it's awfully easy to get ahead of yourself or go off on a path that may be right for your model, but not right for you. If you've been there, you know what it feels like, but do you know what lies at the root of the problem? Very probably: fear. When we're afraid, doubtful of our own abilities and unaware of our own uniqueness, copying someone else's style offers an easy out.

3. I think, in many businesses --coaching included -- it's easy to get the cart before the horse, gear up for that huge practice BEFORE you're ready to handle it! The implicit assumption is that, if you display the right trappings, clients/customers will flock to your door. I've got news for you: clients and customers aren't that dumb!

4. What we're talking about here can be summed up in a single word: authenticity. Another colleague in the speaking business, hugely successful, began his somewhat meteoric rise with a great idea for a sales training program and little else -- no stationery, no business cards, and NO track record. Three years later, his income too was well into six figures. How did he do it? Well, when he managed to get the attention of his first really hot lead and propose a series of training programs for the sales staff, the client executive ask him point blank: where have you put on this program before? He hesitated only a moment and then replied, Nowhere. But, he said, we'll do the first week for free and if you aren't more than satisfied with the results, you owe us nothing. If on the other hand, you are both surprised and pleased by the results, you agree to pay our price for the rest of the program! And that's exactly what happened. Authenticity, as measured by results.

5. So, the key to not getting in over your head is to take a hard look at who you are, what you have to offer, and what opportunities lie right outside your door. Build on your current strengths, not future promise. One more story: Another speaker, new to the field and confronted with a need for various printed materials, was reluctant to put out the money required up front to have a fancy brochure, matching business cards and stationery, and so on. So he decided to focus on personal relationships as the key to his approach to practice development. He even went so far as to design all of his printed materials in originals only, and then hustle off to Kinkos where he had them reproduced, one set at a time! That way, he kept his costs "and his aspirations" in check until the demand for his services demonstrated beyond that shadow of a doubt that it was time to get fancy!

I want to try to translate this into something useful for those of you who may be facing a similar dilemma. How can you be sure how far out on the limb to climb?

First, dig into your own life experience and define what it is that you have to offer. This can be a big task, not something you achieve in a weekend. It's just not enough to have mastered the techniques -- selling, coaching, or whatever. You have to have been there, so to speak, and have distilled your own life/work experience into a very precious commodity: wisdom. It is your wisdom that leads you to ask the right questions, make appropriate suggestions, challenge what doesn't feel right, and when necessary, move into the uncharted territory of possibilities.

Second, resist the temptation to get ahead of yourself. Each time you are confronted with the need for an expensive piece of equipment or furniture, ask yourself: How much do I really need this, now? Is there a less expensive way to accomplish what I need to do? And, how long will it reasonably take to have the purchase pay for itself? (You'd be surprised how many people don't ask these questions, simply because they want to emulate their silent heroes).

Finally, be attentive to what comes to you. It's the whispered messages that come at odd moments rather than the giant shouts that are often most significant. Usually, the loud voices are those that are tinged with arrogance, fear or naivete. And, when you get strong leadings that run counter to your mentored advice, listen carefully in light of your own experience, not someone else's.

There you are. And to my fellow coach who suggested this topic, I hope that I have done it justice.

Copyright © 1999, Shale Paul. All Rights Reserved. May be transmitted or reproduced in its entirety only, including this copyright line.