Some of the most familiar advice you've heard about body language, for instance, was based on folklore, not research. Consider, for example, "open" and "closed" body stances. People with crossed arms are often not any more closed to you than people with open arms are necessarily open to you and your ideas.

Take this quick nine-question quiz. Some of the answers may surprise you. Here's to creating happenings you can savor long afterwards. The answers are available below.

1. Do people get along better when talking to each other if they are facing each other or if they are standing side by side?

2. Who tends to face the person with whom they are speaking (men or women) and who tends to stand side by side, facing more or less the same way (women or men)?

3. If you want to increase the chance of knowing if someone is lying to you, what is one helpful phenomenon to notice about that person's face when he or she is talking to you?

4. If you want to keep someone's attention, is it better to wear a patterned shirt or blouse or a plain blouse or shirt?

5. What is the most directly emotional of all the senses, bypassing the thinking facilities and causing a quicker, more intense, instinctual reaction than any other sense?

6. Are you more likely to get someone to support you or buy something if you give them something up front, unasked, before you ask for the favor?

7. Who tends to maintain wider peripheral vision when entering a new place, men or women?

8. Who tends to be more specific in their descriptions, adults or children?

9. Of the previous eight questions, which is the one people are most likely to ask for the answer to first, and if reading the questions in a group, are most likely to comment on first?

MOTION
Finding #1: Move to Motivate
Motion is emotional. It increases the emotional intensity of whatever is happening.

Further, people remember more the things they dislike or fear that they experience in motion, more than things they enjoy. Motion attracts attention and causes people to remember more of what's happening and feel more strongly about it, for better or for worse.

Tip
TV visual possibility: This is another justification for golf! Think of the golf swing. The more dimensions of motion involved (body moving up/down, left/right, backward/forward), the more memorable the motion.

Imagine the bizarre picture of someone swinging his whole body around, sweeping down low before you, and then reaching out to shake hands. While moving in many dimensions will surely make you more memorable, it won't necessarily make you more credible.

Get others involved in motions with you that create good will: walking, sharing a meal, handing or receiving a gift, shaking hands, turning to face a new scene. You are more likely to literally get in sync (vital signs become more similar: eye pupil dilation, skin temperature, heartbeat) and to then get along.

PASSION
Finding #2: Deep Convictions
The more time, actions, or other effort someone has put into something, someone, or some course of action, the more deeply that person will believe in it, defend it, and work on it further.

Tip
If you want more from the other person, wait to ask for it after she has invested more time, energy, money, or other resources. The more someone talks about it, repeats and revises what they have said, writes it down, and explains it to others, the more deeply they will believe it. And frequently they will tell others about it.

Idea
I can give you several examples of how a TV personality could inspire an audience member or other person he or she contacts by phone to become a more passionate advocate for a product, cause, person, and so on, literally as the TV personality involves them in more actions on behalf of it . . . and could follow up by phone or in person later to see how the intensity of conviction lingers.

LIKEABILITY
Finding #3: True Timing
If a person likes the way he acts when he is around you, he often sees the qualities in you that he most admires. The opposite is also true. Two universal truths: people like people who are like them, and people like people who like them.

Tip
Pick the moments when someone feels most at ease and happy to move the relationship forward. Don't make suggestions or requests when they are acting in an unbecoming way. Your efforts will only backfire. Praise the behavior you want to flourish. Don't ask for more from someone until they have invested more time, money, other resources, or emotional in the relationship.

Five Tips for Getting Along Better

1. If you embarrass someone you'll probably never have their full attention again.
   
2. Even and especially when you have the upper hand, do not make a victim of the underdog.
   
3. Offering something free and valued up front, unasked, often instills the desire to reciprocate, even beyond the value of the offer.
   
4. Problems seldom exist at the level at which they are discussed. Until you get some notion of the underlying conflict, you will not be able to find a solution.
   
5. If you want more from another person, wait to ask for it after they have invested more time, energy, money, reputation, or other resource.